Count the Stars
by poisonedapple13
Summary: Lovino Vargas lives in a quiet, small town just on the edge of a large forest. Not much happens at this town unless someone moves in, like the Carriedo family. Immediately, their boy Antonio befriends the tiny Italian, and their friendship grows through many hardships such as parental abuse and relationships. However, Antonio harbors one dark secret that may decide the fate of Man.
1. The Gears that Grind

It was on Lovino Vargas' fifth birthday that everything was set into motion, yet none of the players knew so. It was such an uncannily cheerful day that nobody would ever suspect the events that would later take place in their small town to happen, a town that honestly didn't deserve any of the destruction heading its way. The people there were kind, offering their hand to any wandering travelers in need of a place to rest. Although the people were kind, it was hard to become a close part of their community, especially to any persons just moving in. This little town, known as Bethridge by the inhabitants, will not show up on many maps, but it's there all the same, serving as a crossroads between a major city and a large forest.

It was there that our story began.

* * *

Lovino Vargas was well known in the Bethridge community, though his reputation was far less than great. He was a little bundle of emotions and could be easily compared to a ticking time bomb; however, the Vargas family in itself was respected, so nobody ever said anything. His fifth birthday was held mainly to welcome the newest Vargas family member, his baby brother Feliciano, into the world. The tiny Italian was born only two weeks before the party, and though Lovino pretended not to care, his five year old mind was intensely jealous, but he'd never admit to it.

"Lovino, you look just so handsome," his mother, Jacquelyn Vargas, cooed. She finished brushing the boy's hair and let him look at himself in the mirror. Lovino couldn't really see what she was talking about, they were just clothes, and he didn't care much for his hair to be parted like that, either. As soon as she turned around, he quickly mussed it up and let it hang naturally.

Jacquelyn turned and tsked at her son, but didn't fix his change, instead tying a bow around his neck. "This bowtie has been in our family for three generations. Did you know that?"

Lovino didn't exactly know what a generation was, so he didn't answer. The tie wasn't tight, but the feeling of having something at his throat bothered him greatly, "Is Bella going to be there?" He asked simply, turning his eyes up to meet his mother's.

She smiled softly, "Yes, she will be. Do you know who else I invited?"

Lovino blinked, "Who?"

"The Carriedo family," She smiled brightly, as if Lovino should know who they were. She must have recognized the look of confusion on her son's face, for she quickly explained, "The Carriedo family moved here just last week. They have a son about Bella's age, eight or nine or so. I thought it would be good for you to play with a boy for once."

Lovino said nothing, but scowled slightly, "He better not be a jerk."

She kissed his head encouragingly, "I'll bet he's not. Now come, let's go get your brother and greet our guests."

Lovino took his mother's hand, hopping down from the vanity stool to walk beside her until they reached the nursery where his brother slept. Lovino was just tall enough to see through the slots in the crib at his _fratello_, who slept there as if he owned the place.

_It was _my_ crib first;_ he protested soundlessly, his grip on his mother's hand like a vice. However, that warmth and comfort of her soft palm left, and he whimpered in confusion, only to have his answer in the form of her picking up the infant.

He didn't understand. Wasn't he good enough to be held like that? Wasn't he good enough to be cooed and coddled over? Or had this…this…_thing_ come to take his place?

It was in that moment that Lovino learned how to hate.

**. . .**

The party was actually one of the better parties the town had thrown in a while, so everybody was having a good time. Most of the men went to the bar to get drunk, while the women stayed behind to congratulate Jacquelyn on her baby. Lovino was with neither, instead sitting at his table, staring at the place a few balloons were tethered to. The balloons were basically the only thing to signal the party was actually supposed to be _his_, a fat "happy birthday" painted onto them in some ridiculous font. The cake was good, though it said "congratulations" and had a baby bottle frosted onto it. He honestly couldn't tell if it was supposed to be his party or his brother's.

The thing was it wasn't even the cake or the moms that got to him. It was the fact that his biggest crush, Bella, had left him to join the women in worshipping the freaking baby. It was _Lovino's_ birthday! Not the brat's!

Anger boiling over, Lovino ripped the cheap ribbon of the balloon strings, and then watched them as they floated up through the trees and eventually into the atmosphere.

He instantly regretted it.

Those balloons were the only things that meant the party was _his_…and he just let them fly away. Tears played in his eyelids and he squeezed them shut to prevent an overflow, turning his face back to the ground. Didn't anybody care? No. Nobody cared.

"_Hola_!" A sudden new voice greeted, startling Lovino enough to jump a little. He whipped his head up to see a new boy, somebody he had never met before, which was strange in itself. Everybody knew everybody in this town, it was just that small. He was Spanish by the sounds of it, and Lovino only knew that because his father had business with Spaniards sometimes.

"My name's Antonio!" the boy said cheerfully, plopping himself down on the bench. He was a bit older than Lovino, with dark chestnut hair that fashion a slight wave to it, and cheerful green eyes the same shade as the balloon that flew away without him. Immediately, Lovino brought his fists up to wipe his eyes dry, and then glared at the other boy.

"What do you want?" He grumbled, attempting to sound intimidating but just coming off as a grumpy kitten.

Antonio was obviously an idiot, for he merely laughed and tilted his head, "I came to say happy birthday, duh."

Shocked, Lovino's glaring eyebrows raised and his mouth fell slightly, "Wait…what?"

The older boy smiled and ruffled Lovino's hair fondly, "Happy birthday."

Lovino tried to wrap his young mind around it. Here was this boy, a _stranger _boy, whom he had never met in his entire life, and he was wishing him a happy birthday. Firstly, _how_ did this kid even know it was Lovino's birthday? Secondly, _why_ wasn't he off gushing over the baby? He stared at the boy—Antonio, was it?—in mild shock and confusion. That quickly wore off as he got a grip on the fact fingers other than his mothers were still in his hair. He jerked his head back, sending a very intimidating five year old glare at the elder, and said very pointedly, "My mommy told me not to talk to strangers."

As Antonio blinked and processed the statement, the tiny Italian folded his arms and faced away.

"Hey," Antonio protested, "We're not strangers. I know your name and you know mine, and we've been talking all this time. That means we aren't strangers."

Though this was true, Lovino still refused to turn around. He was much too stubborn to be swayed by five minutes of conversation. After a minute, Antonio picked the conversation back up, "Why did you let your balloons go?"

Wincing at the memory, Lovino shot a pout (for lack of a better term, he still hadn't perfected glaring) at the Spanish boy, "Because…'cause…'cause I could, alright?!"

Antonio sent his gaze heavenward, shielding his eyes from the glare of the sun, as if he could still spot the balloons. He frowned, "Hmm…well I saw some others over there!" He emphasized direction with a pointed finger, "We could go get you a few new balloons!"

Lovino frowned, staring at the ground as if it were at fault, "Those are for the baby."

Antonio blinked, "But isn't it your party?" Silence was Lovino's answer. "Well I came to a birthday party, so those balloons are yours. Let's go get them and explore the woods!" With a beaming smile, he stood up, offering hand to the younger boy.

Lovino contemplated the hand, then apprehensively took it into his own, standing up shakily. "Okay but don't get me into trouble."

Antonio grinned and crossed his heart, "I promise."

That being said, the two boys weaved through the crowd hand in hand. A few looks were sent their way, given Antonio was a new face, but no stares were made. Eventually Lovino could see the target Antonio was leading him to: a small cluster of balloons tied to the white picket pence. He could almost smile as they reached their prize and Antonio set to work on untying the cheap ribbons.

Though he was young, Lovino still couldn't understand why this boy was being so nice; they barely even knew each other. Were people outside of town always so thoughtful, or was it just this particular boy? He simply could not understand, but as he watched unskilled fingers work at the knots, he decided it was just the boy. Not many people were that nice.

Soon, a balloon was free, and Antonio handed it over to Lovino. The younger took it, ducking his head to hide a sheepish grin and muttered, "_Grazie_."

Antonio smiled sweetly, cocking his head to the side. His mass of curly hair fell with the movement, skewing the view of his bright eyes, "Don't thank me. Anyways, you said we could go exploring!"

Lovino's temporary grin fell and he looked towards the group of mothers. He was specifically searching for _his_ mom, but she was lost somewhere in the crowd. He knew that she'd never approve of his exploring without an adult, the woods were too dangerous. But jeez…Antonio was looking at him so hopefully…and he didn't know where his mom was so he could go ask…

Somehow, the decision was made in the back of his mind, and he nodded affirmatively. "Come on, I know where to go."

Antonio's smile beamed, and he stuck out his hand, "_¡Bien! _Let's go!"

Lovino grumbled, taking the hand grudgingly. This kid had a serious thing for holding hands, and the Italian wasn't too sure how he felt about it. He supposed he'd teach the Spaniard his place sometime later, for at that very moment he didn't feel like chewing out a stranger.

The boys left the yard, Lovino glancing back only once. He still couldn't see his mom.

He doubted she'd care anyways.

"So what's fun to do around here?" Antonio asked, making Lovino turn his attention back to him. The older boy was taking large steps, trying to hit each sidewalk crack every time his foot fell. His legs were so short he didn't quite succeed but he didn't seem to mind.

Lovino shrugged, "Mama doesn't take me out much. I'm still too young," with the last sentence he puffed out his cheeks, "but the park is fun."

Antonio stopped his awkward hopping and looked at the younger, "The park? Would you take me?"

Lovino shrugged, not wanting to commit himself to the task, "maybe."

Antonio looked back forward. 'Maybe' was better than 'no'. "How old are you?"

Lovino stuck out his chest proudly, "I turned five today!"

"Really? 'Cause I turned seven this year."

"Five is better."

"Nuh uh! You can't do _anything_ when you're five."

Lovino huffed, "Yes you can, I can watch TV all I want now."

"My Mama has always let me do that." Antonio replied with all the coy a seven year old could possess.

Pouting, Lovino retorted, "I don't need to be leashed anymore."

"My Mama lets me to take our dog for walks."

"Well Mama has let me help cook before!"

A small moment of silence passed between the two before a smarmily grinning Antonio gave his reply, his gloating and bragging tone leeching from each word.

"My Mama lets me pick out my own clothes."

Lovino had to stop there. There was no way he could top that and both of them knew it. However, instead of admitting defeat, the youngster quickly steered them towards a path that would lead them directly to the forest. Before her belly started growing, Mama would take him on this path many times a week. He could remember those days very distinctly and he craved for them to be back, wishing with an almost desperation that she would just put the baby back wherever she got it from and things could go back to normal.

He knew that would never happen though.

But he still hoped, he still prayed. Maybe one day his wishes would come true and he could walk down this path with Mama once more.

In fact, he could almost pretend that Antonio's hand was hers. It wasn't quite the same, of course. He was much too short and his hand was way too small, but if he just pretended…even just for a little while, then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.

"Lovino! Your balloon!" Antonio's cry brought Lovino back to reality, but not in time enough to watch his new balloon slowly drift up into the canopy. He must have let it slip out of his hand while he was daydreaming…He observed it as it kept going higher, disappearing like his Mother's love for him.

Finally, all of his tears he had worked so hard to keep in started pouring out, his emotions following the balloon into the trees. Letting go of Antonio's hand, he rubbed his eyes fitfully to stop the hot tears. Broken sobs left his mouth, filled with loneliness as much as they were filled with sorrow. He wanted everything to go back to the way it was, back to when Mama cared only for him, back to when balloons stayed in his hands, back to when his parents weren't so tired all the time. He wanted his crib, even though he was too big for it; he wanted to be cradled like Feliciano did; and most of all, he wanted his Mama.

His sobs increased in volume and his little body shook, and for a moment, Antonio stood in shock. He didn't quite know how to handle the situation, nor did he know exactly what set the meltdown off. He assumed it was the balloon, and he immediately sympathized for the poor boy.

"Hey, it's alright…" Antonio said in his best soothing voice, the kind he used on that lost kitten he found once, "You don't need to cry. We can get you another balloon…"

Lovino only shook his head, shoulders quivering from weeping.

Frown deepening, Antonio looked up to where the balloon had drifted off…and saw it!

"Lovino, look!" He smiled hopefully, pointing up at the canopy. The balloon had somehow drifted into a few twigs and its string had tangled itself amongst them. Lovino looked at it with bleary eyes and sniffled. Didn't this idiot understand he didn't care about a stupid balloon?

"Hmm…" Antonio got a thoughtful look, then walked over to the tree the balloon had caught itself on. "I'll bet I could get it down for you!"

Despite his want to cry more, he gaped at Antonio. This guy was crazy…right? That tree was _really_ tall. Most of the seven year olds he knew could barely conquer the tiny apple tree in the town square.

However, Antonio continued on, placing one foot on a low knot in the trunk. Then up went the other foot. Then the other. Repeat. He was by no means skilled; in fact, he was rather shaky as he kept climbing higher and higher…

All Lovino could do was gawk. By this point, Antonio had reached at least ten feet in the air (or a hundred as far as Lovino was concerned), and that wasn't even half the distance to the balloon.

Taking deep, even breaths, Antonio grasped the branch above him and used it to hoist his weight to a nearby limb. He then pulled himself over to the trunk, shimmying around it until he found a foothold that would take him to the next bough. He continued this, refusing to look down, until a particular balloon string was just beyond his reach.

He was going to die, Lovino decided. The crazy idiot was going to die. All for what, a balloon that wasn't even supposed to be his? Lovino couldn't decide if he should run and help, or stay and watch. His body seemed to make the choice for him, eyes refusing to even blink as the seven year old above him reached out for the string…

_Got it._ Antonio smiled triumphantly to himself as he ripped the balloon string away from the twigs and close to him, wrapping it around his wrist to prevent it from ever floating off again. It was a good climb, too. Definitely one of his best. This wasn't the particular thought on his mind, though, as he began the trek down.

Going down was always worse than going up. When you went up, you had a broad view of every option you can take. Going down, your view was hindered by your own behind, and you couldn't see where to put your foot next, which could prove to be bad. Very bad.

However, Antonio scurried down the tree from limb to limb easily, and was only eight feet from the ground when his foot slipped. His arms flailed and eyes went wide as he tried to find some sort of purchase, but the nearest branches were all at least a foot above his head, and his fingers would not grab hold onto the bark.

Lovino screamed as he fell.

The silence that followed was eerie. It seemed as if every creature within a mile radius had stopped to listen and watch to make sure Antonio was still alive.

"…Hey…" Lovino said tentatively, stepping forward with a slight shake to his physique. Don't be dead…please don't be dead…

He reached the limp body after a few minutes and stared down at the once brilliant face. No…it can't be…

However, Lovino let out a loud sigh of relief as Antonio stirred painfully.

"You're crazy! You nearly die-" he was cut off as a bright green balloon was shoved in his face.

"…I got your balloon…" Antonio said, smiling wearily.

Lovino didn't know how to react. How _could_ he react? This kid he hadn't even met two hours ago nearly risked his life to save some stupid balloon!

"Why?" He found himself asking simply, eyes wide with confusion.

Antonio sat up, a painful expression crossing his face as he looked at the spot he fell from. He lowered his gaze back to the Italian after a second and answered calmly, "So you wouldn't cry anymore."

That answer made no sense. It couldn't make sense. Maybe Lovino was just too young to understand… Shaking his head, he crouched next to his new friend. "Are you okay?"

Antonio nodded, flashing him a bright smile, "I just fell… not a big deal."

Lovino scoffed in a five-year-old fashion, helping the other to his feet. He wasn't quite comprehensive enough to understand that a normal kid would be crying, or even have some sort of broken bone.

Antonio was lucky that Lovino wasn't old enough to get that yet. He'd have to be careful in the future; but he could stand to save those thoughts for later. He allowed the tiny Italian to do his best in helping him back to the party, where both their mothers waited with hugs and worried chastisements.

That was the last either boy saw of each other that day, but both knew that they would play together again soon. Despite the momentary terror, they had more fun with one another than they ever had in their lives.

Thus, the gears of our story groan to life.


	2. Responsibility

**So...I wasn't gonna post this until next week, but I saw so much positive feedback and it made me just so happy that I was like, "May as well". So you guys are lucky ducks, getting two updates in a single day ;D I'm jealous. Anywho~ if you are concerned/confused, go ahead and ask for me to clear things up, or scold me on some mistake I made. I don't feel like this chapter was the best, but these first few chapters are necesary to get the story moving along. **

**Thank you for reading and feedback it greatly appreciated ^-^**

* * *

Eventually, things with the new baby evened out. Lovino was still immensely jealous of all the extra attention the thing got, but he didn't hate him so much anymore. Antonio helped a lot with that, providing a necessary distraction for the Italian to turn to whenever he just couldn't stand the crying brat anymore. His mother got better too as the infant aged, and she started taking the two of them on walks down the same path again. Lovino would have preferred it to be just him and her, but he was just glad it was happening. Every time they passed a certain tree, though, Lovino couldn't help but shudder, remembering the way Antonio's body plummeted to the ground.

Speaking of the Spaniard, the two boys were inseparable after their little incident. They played together, walked together, talked together. It had gotten to the point that their mothers organized a calendar of play dates and who would watch on each day. Jacquelyn couldn't be happier; her plan to socialize Lovino was working without a hitch. Antonio's mother, Adelita, was happy as well. She worried that Antonio wouldn't be able to fit in.

The friends spent many of the next two years together, learning more about each other with each passing day. There were many things about Antonio that Lovino found rather strange. For example, the Spaniard often spoke gibberish that Lovino didn't understand. Whenever Antonio caught himself doing so, he would immediately apologize for himself. Soon he was diagnosed with some sort of speech impairment, but that didn't make sense to Lovino. He didn't even know what impairment meant. Either way, that was Antonio's excuse whenever he said something that Lovino didn't understand. Antonio also had a way of seeing something new and being utterly _astounded_ by it, as if it were the greatest thing in the world. He did so often and it seemed to happen more with animals than it did with anything else. Once, they saw a beaver waddling across a creek, and Antonio refused to stop watching it until it was completely out of sight. He then proceeded to attack Lovino with questions about the organism. What was it called? What did it do? Why was it here? Lovino didn't even _know_ how to answer most of the questions. It was as if Antonio never even knew beavers existed.

However, with technology, Antonio was a pro. Lovino had never seen anybody use a computer as well as Toni did, at least nobody younger than twelve. Whenever they had access to one, Lovino would often have Toni do some sort of task on the device, just to amaze the Italian with his speed and efficiency.

When Lovino was seven and Antonio was nine, Lovino started seeing less and less of his mother. For some reason, he had started staying at Antonio's house more and more, but that wasn't the weird part. Feliciano would stay with them, too. Whenever he did see his mother, she seemed older, moved slower, and she was just always so _tired._ The walks she used to take with Feliciano and him were abandoned without so much as an explanation, and the wonderful scents of cooking no longer lingered in the house. His father he had never seen much of before, but now he rarely saw him at all. All of the joy their house was once filled with just seemed to be slowly dissipating, and Lovino didn't know what to do. He _knew_ something was wrong. He just didn't know what.

On one particularly warm August day, Lovino was sitting on the carpet, playing with a handful of toy dinosaurs Antonio gave him a while back. The elder claimed that he didn't like them anymore and Lovino wasn't complaining. They were the coolest things ever. His mother sat on a beat-up rocking chair, rocking herself slightly and reading a book.

Amused with the toys, Lovino picked up his favourite one, the Tyrannosaur. Mimicking what he figured the great beast would sound like; he had it attack a smaller dinosaur. In his mind, he pictured the other creature screaming in defeat, and then the Rex would feast.

Jacquelyn had placed her book to the side and smiled down on her eldest son. He was growing up so beautifully…and that's what brought tears to her eyes. He had so much to learn and she didn't have time to teach him. She wasn't too concerned for Feliciano, he was so young right now, and he would have a wonderful big brother to teach him what he needed to know. It did hurt she wouldn't be able to see her sons go to school, to attend any recitals or hang any of their art up on the fridge…

She didn't want to let her son see her cry, so she forced down the thoughts and spoke weakly, "Lovino? Would you come here sweetheart?"

Lovino looked up from his dinosaur banquet, and then set down the toys to climb onto her lap. She made no noise as he situated himself to be comfortable, turning his eyes to meet her sweet ones. They looked a lot alike, mother and son. Both had the same dark auburn hair, the same wide olive eyes, and the same even skin tone. Lovino felt pride in looking so much like his mother, even if she was a girl. She smiled pleasantly at him, a smile not many people but him got to see, and brushed some hair out of his face. "You're getting big."

Lovino grinned and puffed out his chest, "Think I'll be as big as Papa one day?"

Jacquelyn's eyes crinkled, "maybe you will. Also," she took a chunk of his hair into her fingers, "you need a haircut."

His nose crinkled, "No I don't."

Humming, she dropped the piece, not really wanting to argue it further. "Want to do something with Mama today?"

Lovino's eyes brightened, maybe they would go on a walk! "Like what?"

"I want to show you how to make pasta."

Well, it wasn't a walk, but it was just as good. Lovino nodded happily, causing Jacquelyn to laugh at her son's exuberance. She would teach him the basics today, and then tomorrow she'd show him more. She wanted him to know everything she had to teach about the kitchen. It would be her last footprint on this world.

She attempted to stand up while holding Lovino, but she was too weak and he was too big. He didn't seem to mind though as he slid to the floor and made a dash to the kitchen, shouting for her to hurry. If she had known he would take to pasta-making so well, she'd have taught him much earlier. It was too late for that now though, and there was no use looking at the past.

She showed him everything she could that day. Explaining how the importance of measuring things was good, but a good cook would always use his instincts. She showed him how to make pasta from scratch, then how to made sauce out of fresh tomatoes. She showed him the best ways to wash a tomato, the best ways to rinse the pasta, and the best ways to mix ingredients. It wasn't much, and she didn't know how much her son had actually picked up on, but it was worth it. Perhaps he'd teach his brother how to make pasta one day, and maybe sometime in the future, his own kids. She hoped he'd make his own recipes and perfect upon her own, turn them into his own creations. It would be all she could ever want.

As the sun set in the sky, tinting the kitchen a playful orange, she cleaned up the mess with Lovino. He was tired after a day of so much learning, and a little lethargic from consuming so much pasta. What could he say? It was_ his_ pasta he made with his own hands. He was darn proud. After the last cup had been set to dry, he walked hand in hand with his mother to his bedroom.

"Did you have fun today, Lovino?" She asked, tucking him into bed.

He mumbled out a tired affirmation, curling up into her side. After a moment of contemplating it, she climbed right into the bed with him, wrapping an arm under his head for a pillow. She played with his hair, searching for ways to turn her thoughts into words.

"Lovino…one day you may feel as if you are alone," she started out, trying to say what she wanted to without scaring him, "and when people are alone, they do scary things. You may feel that nobody cares or wants you. If that time ever comes…please don't lose faith."

Lovino stirred in her arms, not understanding the meaning of his mother's words.

She continued, "I will always love you Lovino. I always have and I will never stop. I know things have been hard with Feliciano…but you've been such a trooper." She couldn't hide the open admiration in her voice, "And I'm so proud. There's nothing you could do to make me less proud of you.

"When you grow up, you will experience new people and new beliefs. Please don't be one who hates based on that. You are a good kid, Lovi, and nothing can break you unless you let it. One day, you may even find that you aren't who you thought you were, and you'll want to explore new thoughts and ideas. Don't let anyone stop you from doing so. Be the Lovino _you_ want to be," she tilted the boy's chin up to her, causing him to open his eyes tiredly, "Sweetheart, _promise_ me you won't be anybody but Lovino."

Confused, Lovino nodded, "Sí. I promise, Mama."

"And promise me you'll protect Feliciano with everything you have."

He wrinkled his nose in distaste, but eventually nodded. Anything for his Mama.

She let go of his chin and he rested his head in her lap, trying to understand what his mother meant. How could he be anybody other than Lovino? It's not like one day he can suddenly decide to be Antonio or something. Besides, even if he wanted to, he doubted Toni would let him. Also, why was she so worried about the baby? It wasn't like she wouldn't be there to pluck him up from the grasp of danger, should he ever be in that situation.

Satisfied with her words and Lovino's response, she allowed herself to sleep with her son. It was the best rest she had received in a while.

…

On December 24, 2002, Jacquelyn Vargas lost her fight with cancer.

At first, Lovino didn't know what was happening. At first, he just thought she hadn't come to pick him up from Antonio's yet. He didn't mind much, spending his day at Antonio's was always fun. However, tomorrow was Christmas, and he wanted to get home so he could go to bed and wait for Santa. If he wasn't home, Santa might completely pass their house and not come this year, which would suck 'cause he had tried his best to be really good.

Antonio, of course, had known Santa wasn't real for a while now. But he wasn't going to ruin the fun for Lovino; besides, it was really cute to watch him talk about what he hoped the fat man would bring.

"I hope Santa brings me a bike," He said, laying on his belly and coloring, "Mama told me she'd have Papa teach me how to ride."

Toni was lying in front of him, coloring as well, "I already know how to ride." He said like the brat he was.

Lovino stuck out his tongue at the elder, "Well why don't you ever ride it?"

"I do, just not when you're around."

"That's stupid. I wanna see you ride."

"Maybe when the snow clears," Antonio smiled and finished his drawing, then pulled it up for Lovino to see. It was a crappily drawn red circle with scribbles decorating the inside and a weird curly thing protruding from the top.

"What is it?" Lovino asked after several minutes of trying to figure it out on his own.

Antonio pouted, "It's a Lovino tomato!"

Lovino nearly burst out laughing, "that doesn't look like me!"

"Yes it does. See?" He pointed to the squiggles in the middle, "you're frowning and blushing!" then he pointed to the curly thing, "and this is your hair thingy!"

He stared intensely at the drawing some more, trying to pick out the qualities that defined it as being "him". He saw absolutely nothing.

"Well, this is what I drew," Lovino held up his own drawing, which was of spaghetti. Looking at it now, he realized it just looked like a ton of swirly lines. He frowned and put it down.

"That looked good!" Antonio said despite the fact it really did _not_, grabbing a fresh sheet of paper to start a new drawing, "what should I draw now?"

Lovino snorted, "You should try and draw your face."

Antonio nodded, "I'll draw both of us!" and set to work.

Staring at his failed drawing of spaghetti, Lovino reached for a new paper when he heard a car door slam. Finally! His Mama had come to pick him up! Smiling a little, he pushed himself to his feet.

"See you later, Toni!" He called, waving as he walked out of Toni's bedroom. He approached the foyer with a slight bounce to his step, ready to go set out cookies for a man who could probably stand to lose a few pounds.

He stopped about halfway into the open area, staring at the door in perplexity. Instead of his Mama, it was his father standing and waiting to take him home. Adelita stood at the open door, hand covering her mouth in a sign of devastating shock. His father looked strained, like somebody was pushing down on his shoulders with all of their might, and his face was pale. Lovino had never seen his father in such a vulnerable state and he wasn't sure if he wanted to step forward or run away.

He wasn't able to make a decision though, for his father saw him. "Come here, son." He said, offering his hand to the boy. Apprehensively, Lovino stepped forward.

Finally snapping out of her daze, Adelita turned her eyes onto Lovino. They were wet and shining, which confused him even more. What was going on?

"Lovino…" His father started, voice trembling slightly. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Son, your mother is dead."

He heard the words, but they seemed to glide over him. Suddenly, he felt as if the floor he was standing on was shaking, crumbling away. Outwardly, he gave no sign he had even heard his father, so the man spoke again.

"Your mother died today in the hospital."

Dead. That's what his father said, right? He knew what that meant; he could remember the time his Nonno died. He didn't know the man well enough to feel any sorrow though, and this time was different.

A small little ping went off inside his head, as if somebody had dropped a pin. It shot out through his skull, _Mama is dead._ It echoed continuously, not stopping even when his eyes widened and his little body froze over.

"N-no…" He muttered, refusing to believe it. His mother _couldn't_ be dead. He had seen her just that morning, had kissed her as she left for the day! If she was dead, he would _feel_ it!

His father nodded sadly, fresh tears building in his eyes, "Yes, Lovino."

In the living room, Feliciano started to cry like the putting of a motor that wouldn't start. Adelita, trying to recover from her shock, shuffled to the room to retrieve the child.

Lovino had never been close to his dad. He had barely even exchanged a conversation with the man before, but in that moment, he flung himself at the largely built male. He may not know his father well, but they both shared the pain of losing Jacquelyn, and that was enough. Lovino's cries joined his brother's, and the world seemed to stop for a moment.

When he finally calmed down, he realized he was back in his own bed. He felt numb inside, but on the outside he hurt. His eyes stung, his face was sore, his stomach growled from hunger. He didn't care though. He felt that if he were to even speak, he'd be disturbing his mother's rest.

Shifting, he felt a paper crumple into his arm. Curious, he lifted his blanket to look at it.

There was the drawing of Lovino Tomato.

…

Christmas went uncelebrated in the Vargas household. Presents remained unopened and laughter remained quiet. Even Feliciano knew to keep silent.

Sometime in the afternoon, after making macaroni, his father simply seemed to give up. Lovino watched with dull eyes as the man snatched his keys and stomped out to the car, eventually speeding away. He would return later that evening smelling strongly of alcohol, and would stumble to the guest bedroom instead of the bedroom he had once shared with Jacquelyn. Lovino, during the time his father had been gone, fed his brother and bathed him. After all, he _had_ made a promise to his mother. That night, he would even pull his brother into his own bed and share body warmth.

That was the day Lovino learned responsibility.

The next morning was almost nostalgic to wake up to. He knew that he shouldn't expect to see his mother sitting at the table when he walked out, yet it was still a shock to see the normally occupied chair empty. He made breakfast for himself, and then went to wake Feliciano and feed him too. He remembered his Mama saying something about how Feliciano couldn't eat tough foods, so he gave the child leftover macaroni noodles. His father got up a few hours later, made himself a cup of coffee, and then disappeared again.

The routine stayed the same for about three days. On the third day, Lovino did get curious. He could remember they had a thing when his Nonno died where they went and viewed the body. Would the same happen with his mother? His answer came the next day when his dad was the one to wake him, and then dress him in clothes he usually wore to fancy occasions. His father was already dressed, though he still reeked, and seemed almost suitable enough to go into public.

Truthfully, Lovino didn't remember much of the next three hours. He remembered refusing to look at his mother, he remembered feeding Feliciano when the toddler started fussing, and he remembered the group of fifty-something townspeople as they stood around his mother's grave. He could remember green eyes shining at him with sorrow, and a warm hand closing itself over his own.


	3. Questions

**Sorry for being a crappy updater ^^ what can I say, I get distracted easily. Also, boring chapter, but it is necessary. Soon the story will pick up~ enjoy reading, lovelies.**

* * *

A blaring, shrill beeping woke Lovino Vargas from his rather peaceful slumber. A multitude of thoughts and feelings ran through his mind in that tiny millisecond of confusion: shock, fear, slight panic, a bit of frustration, and finally, he was seething mad.

"_Feliciano!_" He growled, untangling himself from his blankets and stomping to the kitchen, trying to ignore the fire alarms. "Do you have _any_ idea what time it is?!"

His idiot brother stood in the kitchen, trying desperately to make a pot on the oven stop smoking. His face was one of sheer panic, proving to Lovino that the bastard had no idea what the hell he was doing. The elder grumbled right over to the pot, grabbed the lid, and then shoved it down over the fluming cloud, simultaneously turning off the gas burners. Then he went to the window and opened it up completely, fanning the dark smoke towards the night air. A cacophony of crickets and night crawlers made itself known to the boys in the kitchen, and once the alarms stopped blaring, Lovino turned back to his brother.

"What the hell were you doing?" He demanded, grabbing the hand his baby brother seemed to be favoring and checking for any signs of injury.

Feliciano whimpered, allowing the inspection, and started off into his story, "Well it's your birthday tomorrow and I really wanted to make it special this year because we _never_ celebrate your birthday unless we do it at the same time as mine, and I really want you to have your own birthday so I thought, 'Ve, maybe I'll go make that really good pasta Lovi made me for _my_ birthday once.'" Feli stopped to take a breath as Lovino pulled him to the sink, having found a small burn on one of his fingers, "I thought I could remember how you made it, but then I left the stove on while the sauce was simmering and I went to make the pasta, and when I turned around it was smoking!"

Lovino sighed. His brother was really an idiot…then again, the kid was only eight, but still. "Feli, you stupid boy…" stopping the stream of cold water, he turned back to his _fratello_, "I told you not to make pasta without me watching."

Feli immediately put the wound in his mouth, "Ve, I know, but it's your birthday and well…I wanted to make you happy."

Lovino shook his head and ruffled the younger's hair. No matter how hard he tried, he really couldn't hate the kid. "Here. How about for a late birthday present, I'll teach you how to make fettuccini Alfredo from scratch. You better listen though, 'cause I won't be repeating myself."

Feliciano beamed, "Really? That would be so cool!" Then he frowned, "but what about your birthday?"

Lovino scowled. He really hated celebrating his birthday, "If you help me clean this mess up, that's a good enough present."

Still frowning, Feliciano agreed and set to cleaning up the kitchen. Lovino was actually mildly proud of his brother. Had he not been such a ditz and left the stove on, the pasta would have turned out really good. As he wetted a washcloth to clean the counter, his mind wandered. Tomorrow—well, today since it was past midnight-, he turned thirteen. Just last month Antonio had turned fifteen, and just two weeks ago Feliciano turned eight.

Lovino didn't feel like he should be thirteen. He felt like he should be five or six once again, still tiny and covered in snot, waiting for his mother to cook dinner instead of waiting for his own dinner to finish in the microwave. He felt like the toy dinosaurs he had long ago given to Feliciano should still be on the floor in the living room, creating an obstacle course for his _sobered_ father to try and navigate. But then again, he felt like he should be much older than he was. Perhaps in his late twenties, early thirties, getting a strong grip on the way life worked. He could probably pass for twenty-seven maturity-wise, after all, he practically had a son(baby brother, but who's paying attention), he cooked his own meals, he did odd jobs around town to get money, and he helped his father pay the bills…so yes. He was a twenty-seven year old trapped in a preteen's body.

Finally getting the kitchen cleaned to the point it wasn't overwhelming, Lovino yawned tiredly, "Feli, it's 12:30…let's go to bed."

The younger pouted, "But you promised to teach me how to make Alfredo…"

"In the morning, idiot. It's way too late and we have school in the morning. I have a tough time already getting you to wake up." _And we don't want to wake Papa. _

Sighing in defeat, Feliciano shuffled to bed, giving a few backwards glances before opening the door and walking in, shutting it behind him. Lovino watched him all the way, and then made his own trek to his room, burrito-ing himself in the sheets his bed possessed. However, just as the wonderful, peaceful inky black tendrils of sleep overtook him…

His damn phone started to ring.

Grumbling and cursing the children of whoever had the audacity to call at this hour, he reached over and picked it up, placing it to his ear and grumbling out a none-too-friendly, "Che?"

"_Cumpleaños__feliz__! __Cumpleaños__feliz__! __Cumpleaños-__ " _Lovino had to hold the phone away from his ear due to how fucking _loud_ that damn Spaniard was. He could practically hear the dipshit smiling like his usual dipshit self. "Happy birthday, Lovino!"

"What. The. _Hell?_" Lovino hissed into the mouthpiece, "Do you realize how early it is?"

"Well…sí. I meant to call earlier but I fell asleep. Hey, at least you answered!"

"I'm hanging up, idiot."

"Wait! Before you go, wanna hang out after school tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure, fine, whatever…let me sleep."

Antonio laughed annoyingly, "Alright, Buenos noches. Sleep well, we'll celebrate your first day of thirteen tomorrow!"

Lovino said nothing, settling with his goodbye in the form of hanging up. The idiot Spaniard shouldn't expect him to be courteous on a phone call in the middle of the freaking night…with that, he set the phone back down and let sleep cradle him, whispering sweet dreams into his ear.

…

_It was a lovely day. The leaves were changing, stuck in the stage where they were red but not fallen. Golden sunlight streamed through the canopy in ribbons, painting the dirt ground in colors of riches. He was walking along a path he recognized but couldn't name, watching as leaves fell peacefully, like they could fall forever. Could he do the same thing if he wanted? Just jump and fall endlessly into a peace? He wouldn't want to do it alone…he'd want to take Antonio and Feliciano (the latter so the child wouldn't have to deal with their father alone). Perhaps he'd be able to find his mother in there. _

_Suddenly, he came onto a clearing he could recognize as Okubo's farm. He attempted to poke his head over the tops of the corn crops, trying to see the farmhouse, but was unable to find it. They wouldn't care if he took a quick stroll through their fields, right? He doubted it, so he parted the plants and started to explore among the rows of corn. They were ready to be harvested, he could tell but the way the ears were green and full. If he opened one up, he'd find pale yellow corn buds, ripe for picking. He was just about to when he heard a rustling and jerked his hand back. Were they going to yell at him for trespassing?_

_To his surprise, it was Antonio who stepped out of the brush, wearing what looked like a skin-tight silver leotard. No, really. __**Skin fucking tight. **__Lovino could see every little feature on his friend's body, which concerned him. Why was a fifteen year old so…so…__**developed**__? Wait…this Antonio wasn't fifteen. No, he was probably eighteen, possibly even nineteen. Was he himself older?_

_"Lovino, you came." He smiled, stepping closer to the Italian. _

_"What do you mean, bastard?" Lovino snapped, not entirely comfortable with having such an…__**attractive**__ male specimen within ten feet of him. Not that Antonio was attractive. Nope. _

_"I've been trying to tell you something…something you need to know," He said, stepping even closer, close enough to take Lovino's hand into his own, which he did._

_"Spit it out, then," Lovino mumbled, furiously trying to fight a blush creeping to his cheeks._

_Antonio gazed at him with those green eyes of his…so intense and bright. Hell, they were almost electrifying. Lovino could feel little jolts and sparks flying up his spine and down his arms, raising the hairs and erecting goose bumps. The Spaniard leaned in to whisper into his ear, breath ghosting down Lovino's neck like warm shower water. "I'm not from here."_

_"No shit, you're from Spain." Lovino squirmed, unable to shake a feeling of different from his friend. There was something off…something he couldn't put his thumb on._

_Antonio chuckled, the noise dripping into his ear like honey and causing him to shiver from God knows what, "No. That's not where I'm originally from." _

_All at once, it felt like it clicked in Lovino's head. He had no idea what clicked, but it did, and it scared him. He pushed Antonio away, stepping back and looking up at him in disbelief, "Don't lie."_

_His gibberish. His intrigue for organisms. His interest in world affairs._

_"I'm not lying."_

_His skill with technology._

_Lovino's eyes widened and he stared, trying to comprehend the new information, "You're…" it wasn't true. Yet…his mind clouded over, and he couldn't think clearly. _

_"Yes, Lovino. You've figured it out," Antonio placed his hands on the younger's hips, which caused a fire to ignite in his stomach and spread to his nether regions. What the Hell? He shouldn't feel like this! It was wrong, it was Antonio!_

_"Wh..What did you do to me?" Lovino managed to gasp out, feeling lust haze his brain and better judgment. _

_"I did nothing. This was all meant to be, don't you understand?" Antonio smiled; leaning in to place a soft kiss on the younger's lips. "We are obviously supposed to change things."_

_"Change…what things?"_

_"We can change the future."_

Lovino opened his eyes, his mind having thrown him from the dream. He didn't want to ever dream that again, it was too weird and…dear God. He had an erection. _Damn that fucking Spaniard. Why the Hell did Lovino dream of __**him?**__ Of all people? He could have dreamt of Bella…that would have been so much better._

Groaning in mild discomfort, Lovino swung his legs over the edge of his bed and waddled to the bathroom, resolving to take a quick shower before school. He had time.

Turning on the water, he stepped out of his pajamas and climbed in, allowing the water to run down his hair and stream off the curves of his body. It felt good, relaxing. The steam cleared his head of the haze. Absentmindedly, he gently wrapped his fingers around his throbbing member, allowing himself to celebrate his birthday in his own way.

Damn Antonio. Damn him and his dream-self, turning Lovino on so much. It wasn't _Antonio_ that turned him on. No, it was the raging horomones. Right.

After finishing his business while biting his lip to keep quiet, he washed his hair, and then stepped out. Now he had to make breakfast and wake up Feli.

This had been their morning routine for about two years, since Feliciano started school. It got a little harder since Lovino began attending middle school, but they got by. North Carolina was a good place for them to be, especially in their circumstances.

Lovino made breakfast, just toast and eggs, and then went to wake up Feliciano, who had an even harder time this morning than he usually did.

"Idiot. I told you this would happen."

Feli grumbled and turned on his side, facing away from his brother, "Five more minutes…"

"Nope. Up now or else breakfast will get cold."

"I don't care.."

"You will in a while when your stomach starts hurting and lunch still isn't for two more hours."

"I'll be fine."

"Nope," stubborn, Lovino threw the comforter right off his brother and picked him up, slinging him over his shoulder. The younger protested at first, then fell limp, satisfied he didn't have to walk all the way to the kitchen.

They ate in silence, Feliciano sometimes telling Lovino about how he hoped his day would go. Lovino on the other hand, was submersed into his thoughts. Why was it _Antonio_ in his dream? He…he was straight, dammit! He shouldn't be getting so…rowdy over thoughts of another man…besides that, couldn't he have thought of Chris Pine instead? Why _Antonio?_ He just couldn't figure it out. He felt wrong, sick, and dirty for having dreamt of his best friend. What would Antonio even think?

Besides the sexual themes of the dream, it was overall strange. First off, what was up with that getup? Did Lovino have some sort of fixation with jumpsuits that he was currently unaware of? And also…what was the big secret? Lovino felt as if he had figured out something in the dream, but out of the dream, he had no clue.

_Fucking dreams._ He concluded, finishing his breakfast then arranging his school things. Feliciano had already gone off to get dressed and was hopefully close to done when their father stumbled out of his bedroom (also known as the old guest room) to make himself a pot of coffee. He looked awful, but that wasn't new. His eyes were bloodshot and fashioned heavy bags. His once white shirt was stained yellow, and he hadn't shaved in a while. At least he looked like he had showered recently…

Lovino couldn't help but watch the man with distaste. He had been a little better the past few weeks, but there was no telling when he would snap again, "Good morning, Papa."

The man glanced at Lovino before realizing he was actually there and gave the boy a small nod, "Good morning. Don't you have… school or something today?"

Lovino nodded, "Yeah, Feli's getting dressed then we're on our way."

A scraggly head bobbed in acknowledgement before making its way to the fridge, momentarily glancing at the calendar on the door, "Did you make breakfast?"

"…Yeah. You just missed it."

"Shame," he scratched his protruding belly and opened the door up, "I'm hungry. Hey, isn't it your birthday today?"

Lovino winced, "Yeah."

His father then closed the door and looked over at Lovino, offering a smile that was meant to be friendly but sent goose bumps down Lovino's arms, "I have some money I've been saving up…we could go out to dinner in the city. How does that sound?"

"Uhm…" Lovino didn't know what to say. His father was actually…he was being _kind_. And…not drunk. It was strange. Granted, it was a welcome relief, but strange all the same, "That sounds alright. I'm up for it."

Feliciano came out of his room, shouldering his backpack, "Lovi, I'm ready. Morning, Papa." He skipped over to kiss the older man's cheek, for he had never hated their father. Ever.

"Good morning, Feliciano. Have a good day at school. You too, Lovino!" He called out as they walked out the front door. Lovino ambled in silence, staring at the ground as Feliciano hummed cheerfully. He wished sometimes he could be as happy-go-lucky as his kid brother, but at the same time he was glad he wasn't. He'd annoy himself half to death.

So into his own mind, he didn't notice the third figure come to join them until his hand was encased in another, larger set of fingers.

"Chigi! Shit, Tonio, don't scare me like that!" He glared, yanking his hand free.

Antonio chuckled, "Lo siento. Buenos días, Lovino, Feliciano." He nodded towards the youngest, causing him to laugh and skip ahead, "He's getting really cute. Maybe he'll be as cute as you one day, Lovino." He teased, nudging the Italian in the side.

"Tch." Lovino scoffed, "I'm not cute. I'm a damn man now. You can't call me cute anymore."

"Well what would you want me to call you?"

"Sexy. 'Cause I am."

That got Antonio to laugh loudly, tilting his head back to throw peals of the sound into the atmosphere. When he finally calmed down, he was greeted by a steaming Lovino, glaring oh-so-cutely with a lip stuck out stubbornly, "Sorry, I just can't call you that. I wouldn't ever be able to say you're sexy with a straight face."

"What, you calling me ugly?"

"No! It's just… 'Cute Lovino' sounds better than 'sexy Lovino'." Actually, it sounded just as good, but Antonio wouldn't say that.

Lovino huffed, and then focused back on the ground. Fairly soon they reached the elementary school and dropped Feliciano off, waiting for him to get completely in line before they started heading towards the junior high.

"You gonna miss me for the next two years?" Antonio asked, for he would be in high school the upcoming year.

"Nah. It's gonna be a huge relief knowing you're gone."

"Hey! That's mean," Antonio laughed, though he knew the truth. They would both miss each other.

"Shut up, I'm always mean."

"True enough. Why is that, anyways? Why are you always so rude?"

"Because people annoy me. Like you."

"Yet you still stick around, I'm touched."

Lovino couldn't help the tiniest of grins come to his face. Antonio always was able to make his day that much better, even if he was dense and stupid as Hell. There was just something about him that could lift the clouds and rain down sunshine with just a sentence. Lovino depended on that, perhaps a little too much, but Antonio never complained. That was another thing. Antonio was just so goddamned patient…with normal people; Lovino could get them pissed off within seconds. He had yet to ever piss Antonio off, though he was working on it. That goal was on his bucket list, among many other things such as go to space, bungee jump, manage to get a nosebleed (he was the only kid he knew who had never suffered a nosebleed), and to somehow get him and Feliciano out of that damn house. There were more things, but those were the most important. Especially the find out how to piss Antonio off. He vaguely realized they had arrived at the school until Antonio spoke up

"Well, I have to gomeathres Mrs. Edwards," Antonio said, frowning as his speech impediment jumbled his words, "Sorry. I have to _go meet_ Mrs. Edwards,"

Lovino nodded, brushing off the gibberish and waving him away, "Go. I'm off to see if Bella's here yet."

With that, the two boys separated, likely not to see each other until lunch and after school.

…

_"You __**worthless**__ piece of __**shit!" **_

Lovino barely felt the sting of the hand as it hit him across the face, hard enough to possibly cause whiplash. He merely cupped it gently and kept his eyes turned to the ground, grateful Feliciano was at a friend's house.

"I offer you _dinner_ at an _expensive fucking restaurant,_ and you decide to not come home until _after fucking dark?!_" His father was seething mad, blood and alcohol tinting his face pink with rage.

It was days like this that Lovino really missed his mother.


	4. Inner Turmoil

"Wait. He _hit_ you?!" Antonio suddenly exclaimed, stopping in his tracks to stare at Lovino. Immediately Lovino regretted his decision to tell his friend why he had a swollen cheek. Ahead of them, Feliciano trudged along, nippy March morning winds tossing his hair about. The boy had been upset all that morning, annoying Lovino slightly simply because he tried so hard to be kind to his baby brother and cheer him up only to receive no response.

"Would you keep your voice down?" He hissed, pulling the Spaniard to keep them walking. Really. The last thing he needed was for the rumor to get around town that his father abused him. There was enough talk of the man being drunk, no need to add abuse to that mix. It would probably result in getting him and Feli kicked out of the house and his father thrown in jail. Despite his disgust of what the man had become, he didn't want to see that happen.

"No! I will _not_ keep my voice down!" Antonio responded stubbornly, absolutely appalled with what he had just heard. Seriously. He tried wrapping his mind around the conversation, but it refused to mold to the new information.

_"Hey, Lovin—__**what did you do to your cheek?!"**_

_"That? Oh it's nothing."_

_"Lovino. It's red and swollen. Like somebody shoved a tomato into your cheek and then left it there. Or even a mutant pimple that's decided to eat your face…" To express what he meant, he engulfed the younger boy's face in his hand._

_"Stop that, you idiot," Lovino grumbled, shoving the hand away then laughing bitterly. "Papa got mad last night and couldn't contain himself, that's all."_

"You better shut up or I'll make you. You think _my_ face is bad? Wait til you see yours when I'm done with it."

Thus bringing them to where they were now. Antonio was shocked, horrified, mouth frozen in his trademark 'Look-What-I-Found-Out' face, only this time it had traces of fear and disgust. He knew that Mr. Vargas had some serious trouble, but..he _never_ imagined that it was like this. How long had this abuse been going on? Why didn't Lovino ever tell him? Suddenly, his face softened into one of sympathy. His best friend had been going through this all alone…

"Lovino?"

The Italian looked up, face pinked from the bite of the wind and hair disheveled. If Antonio wasn't mistaken, it looked like the boy's eyes were glazed over with unrelieved tears.

Gently, Antonio took Lovino's face into his hands, forcing them to stare at each other's faces.

"I never want you to be alone," He said, peering into Lovino's wide orbs for any emotion that would stand out, "Got it? If you get scared…you find your way to my house. Promise me that."

Lovino stared up at his friend for a moment, eyes shining and mouth opening and closing, as if he meant to say something but didn't want to. Finally, he shoved away Antonio and began stomping forward.

"Don't touch me like that you bastard!" He cried over his shoulder, refusing to let his face blush. However, that was a feat he could not do, and his skin darkened considerably.

_Dammit…_He growled silently, almost wanting to cry, _why do I feel like this? It's insane, it's madness…_

Antonio watched Lovino stomp away for a minute before going in a light jog to catch up to him, "Sorry~ I forgot you don't like to be touched." He apologized, giving a sweet smile that he hoped Lovino would accept and forgive. Apparently the younger did, for he said nothing, but made no move to shove Antonio away again.

"Whatever. You're just trying to hit on me, get me to join the gay side." Lovino said, causing both boys to laugh. It was a well known fact that Antonio liked both genders; he had since he was a child. While some people looked at it like the Spaniard was a freak, most of the townspeople had accepted it long ago. Lovino didn't even know it was possible for boys to like boys or girls to like girls until the fifth grade, when Antonio explained to him exactly what 'being gay' or 'bi' or whatever other term meant. Lovino accepted it of course, but that didn't mean it would save the Spaniard from teasing. But, it wasn't cruel teasing. Nope, just friendly prodding that Lovino did at will.

"We have candy~," Antonio taunted, laughing again. Lovino didn't respond, too lost in his memory of that strange dream he had the other night. He had almost completely forgotten about it, but the talk of being gay brought it back up. Was it…possible? Did he find Antonio attractive?

He sent a small glance the Spaniard's way. No, there was no way. Yes, Antonio had a nice smile. Yes, his skin was perfectly tanned and he was rather cute with a light dusting of freckles. Yes, his hair reflected sunlight perfectly and he always smelled of something sweet, like chocolate and tomatoes.

That didn't necessarily mean that Lovino was _attracted _to him…did it?

They arrived at Feli's school, the youngest of the trio already making his way across the field.

"Have a good day!" Antonio called, speaking for both himself and for Lovino. Feliciano didn't even turn, grumpily dragging his feet on the grass as he went to stand in line with his fellow classmates.

"Is something wrong with him?" Antonio asked, turning to continue their walk to the junior high.

"I don't really know…" Lovino responded, somewhat upset at his brother's behavior. "He's been like this all morning."

"Maybe he got into a fight?"

Lovino snorted, "Yeah right. He would never get into a fight."

"Hmm. I wonder what's bothering him."

Lovino frowned, thinking the same thing. Did something happen to Feliciano? What if…what if he _had_ gotten into a fight. Ohhh, if that was the case, that other kid was going to get it. Nobody picked fights with Lovino's brother. But then, what if that wasn't it at all? What if…oh, God. What if his father had hurt Feliciano when he wasn't looking?

"Hey, Lovino? You okay?" Antonio asked, noting the way his friend had paled and was now chewing his lip like jerky or something.

"Huh? Oh yeah, just tired."

A small awkward silence passed before Antonio asked, somewhat hesitantly (since he didn't know if this was an appropriate question or not), "…so, what did you do to get your father to hit you?"

Lovino's insides froze. In reality, it was coming home after Antonio's party that had gotten him in trouble. He could admit it, he purposefully stayed later than he should have so he could avoid the dinner his father wanted to do and he felt somewhat guilty for that. But that didn't justify getting drunk and flying off the handle like his father had. But, he couldn't tell Antonio the reason. Knowing him, Toni would just start feeling guilty and beat himself up about it.

Lovino quickly fed Antonio a lie, "Oh, I had forgotten to clean the kitchen when I got home. No biggie."

Antonio frowned and nodded, seemingly accepting the story. Lovino praised god for giving him a dense moron for a best friend, and before he knew it, they were at the school.

"See you around, Lovino!" Antonio called, walking off to join his little posse of freaks that Lovino very adamantly stayed away from. They were weird, perverted, and they were ninth graders so that made them a bit scarier than most people.

Not that that was the reason he stayed away, though!

"Oh, Lovino!" Called a familiar voice and he turned to see Bella bounding up to walk with him. She was a ninth grader too, but she wasn't a freak like the rest. He had grown up with her.

"Yes, Bell?" He kept walking into the building, not meeting eyes with anybody he passed.

"I got into the honor's classes at the high school!" She cried triumphantly, standing next to Lovino as he crouched to open up his locker. He hated the damn thing, it was on the bottom, it jammed easily, it never opened all the way, and then it emitted a scent that annoyed the hell out of him.

"Oh, that's pretty cool," He told her, shoving his backpack into the small space then attempted to fish his books out.

"Isn't it? I'm so proud of myself!" God. When you got Bella excited, she nearly peed herself. Lovino managed to get the necessary materials for the first half of the day out, and then slammed the door shut.

"I'm happy for you," He offered her one of his rare smiles. In a way, he was kind of jealous of Bella. She was so smart and well liked by everyone, not to mention she was absolutely gorgeous. He remembered his childhood crush on her and applauded the younger him. When he got crushes, they were always on the best people.

I wonder if Antonio counts as one of the best people…

_SHUT UP YOU ARE STRAIGHT DAMMIT YOU DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON THAT TOMATO EATING BASTARD._

All the while Bella continued talking about honors classes, completely unaware of the inner turmoil Lovino was going through.

"Hey, uhm, that's great and all but…I have an appointment…"

Bella blinked at Lovino's sudden interruption, but nodded happily anyways, "Okay! I'll see you at lunch." With that, she bounded off down the hallway, no doubt going to find some other soul to brag to about her achievement.

Lovino, however…he just needed to _breathe. _Needed to find someplace to think. Suddenly struck with a bout of genius, he made his way to the boy's locker room. Nobody would bother him there, and he could finish homework he failed to do last night. He tentatively walked in, keeping an eye out for the gym teacher who would surely kick him out. Satisfied he was alone, he made his way to the last row of lockers and sat on the bench, pulling out his nearly finished math homework.

He hated math. Though it was somewhat easy for him, he was much too lazy to actually do all that work and get some random answer. It's not like if he did it any lives would be saved or something. But still, he wanted to finish with a passing grade, and in order to do that it meant he had to do homework.

A small squeak of hinges caught his attention and he looked up to see one of the toilet stalls opening, revealing a boy with shoulder-length mouse hair tied back into a ponytail. He winced as Lovino took notice in him, freezing in place before turning to face the Italian.

"I was just leaving…don't mind me!" He said, and Lovino was surprised to hear he had a softer voice than he imagined a boy to have.

"Uh…were you hiding?" Lovino raised an eyebrow, his question causing the other to fluster.

"No, of course not! Why would I hide? It's not like I actually _have_ something to hide…" He laughed nervously, only sparking the intrigue in Lovino.

"You look familiar. Do I have any classes with you?"

"Doubt it…I'm in ninth grade."

"Oh."

Well this got awkward. Lovino turned back to his homework as the boy made his way to the exit, turning back to state, "You didn't see anything," and then disappearing.

_God people in this town are weird._

…

After school, Antonio and Lovino made their way along almost overgrown sidewalk, towards the path to the park. Feliciano had called Lovino saying that he was going to be with a friend the entire afternoon, so they didn't have to worry about picking him up and walking him home. That was fine with the duo; they felt like visiting their tree. Once at the now infamous tree, both threw their backpacks on the ground and lay on the grass, staring up at the sky.

Antonio stared at the tips of the tree in particular, remembering vividly a bright green balloon stuck amongst its branches. The oak tree had gotten bigger since then…possibly big enough to hold a treehouse.

"Lovino!" He exclaimed, now fashioning his 'Idea!' face. The younger didn't even turn to look at him, instead muttering out a quiet, "che?"

"Let's build a treehouse! My dad still has a ton of leftover wood from our shed, and I'm certain he'd help us build it! Come on, it would be fun~"

Lovino thought about it for a moment, but came to the conclusion, "Sure, why not."

Antonio beamed then launched himself into the plans. Lovino was certain there had to be a law about building a treehouse on a tree not on your property, but this particular tree was quite far out. He doubted anybody would truly notice.

So, in less than two weeks time, a small but functioning treehouse was being finished, and that wasn't the only new aspect in Lovino's life.

Oh no.

His dad had a new girlfriend.

When his father had told him and Feliciano that, the only thing that Lovino could picture was some dirty woman that his father met at the town's bar, probably deathly skinny and having a cigarette bud hanging out of her mouth.

But no. Oh no. The woman he was uncomfortably sharing dinner with was…well, _pretty_. She had long brown hair that reached her shoulder blades, cascading down in ringlets. Her eyes were blue and sweet, though he bet his money that she could be very stern when she wanted to. She had rosy cheeks and was a little on the plump side, but that added to her sweetness.

Lovino immediately distrusted her.

Feli, however, he took to the woman right away, bombarding her with questions about where she was from (Washington D.C.), why she moved here (She wanted to find a calmer life), what she liked to do (watch T.V. and take scenic walks), where she worked (Used to work as a secretary at the white house, now the manager of the local Walmart).

That was what stuck out to him. Why would she abandon a smart job like being the secretary for the damn president to move to their tinyass town and be a _Walmart manager?_ And she lied. Good lies, but lies none the less. Lovino could only tell she was lying because he was an experienced liar himself. And she gave it away with the fact every time she answered a question dishonestly, her eyes would flicker from face to face, as if checking to make sure that her story was being believed.

_What are you hiding, lady?_

"It was really nice having you over!" Feliciano said as the woman—_Lisette _(a lie)_—_climbed into her car to speed away. Their father stayed on the porch to watch her car disappear into the distance, before smiling and going back into the house. Lovino had already sent Feliciano to take a bath, but he was ready and waiting for his dad as he re-entered the house.

"She looks a little like Mama," He said pointedly, sending a glare to his father. What was he trying to do? Replace the woman he had married?

His father winced, "And _you_ look a little too _much _like your mother."

That made Lovino recoil slightly, a small puzzle piece finally clicking in his head, "Is that why you hate me so much?" He asked before he could stop himself and once the words were out, he slammed his palms over his mouth as if he could take them back.

"…Who said I hated you?" His father asked, genuinely taken aback.

"Well…" Lovino shook his head, standing up, "I have to…go get ready for bed. Forget I said anything."

"Wait. Lovino, let's talk…" His father pleaded. Lovino was half tempted to take him up on his offer, knowing the man was sober and ready to listen, most likely not going to hit Lovino for any wrong words.

But Lovino was too stubborn and he kept walking, refusing to look back as he opened the door to his room, "If you wanted to talk, you should've tried staying sober long ago."

…

Antonio started waking up when he heard a tapping on his window. At first he figured it was just a weird dream that involved the dull sound until it happened more, and he realized he could hear it with his _ears. _Not his mind. He groggily opened his eyes in time to see a hand reach down to his basement window, fingers curved to tap on it. A little confused, he climbed out of bed (tripping once) and opened the window, peering up to see Lovino waiting at the well entrance, breath showing slightly in the chilly night and dressed in his pajamas.

"Lovino?" He asked, squinting from the light of a street lamp.

"You gonna let me freeze or let me come in?" Lovino growled.

"Oh, yeah. Uhm…come in…I guess?"

Lovino happily obliged, hopping into the window well and then climbing into his friend's room.

"God it was cold." He muttered, grabbing one of Antonio's blankets and wrapping himself in it.

"Well it's still early spring…what's up?" Antonio positioned himself on his bed cross-legged, waking up more as he had to peer at his Italian friend in the dim light.

"…You told me I could come over whenever I needed to…bastard…" Lovino mumbled out, settling himself on the floor.

"I said when you were scared…" Concern laced his Spanish accent, "Did something happen…?"

"No."

"You sure…?"

"Yes. I was just bored and wanted to come over, since it's a weekend and all."

Sighing, Antonio let himself lay down, closing his eyes and swallowing thickly, "I know when you're lying, Lovi."

Shocked slightly, Lovino looked up at Antonio, "h-how?"

"I just can…" And with that, the Spaniard was out cold.

_'He just can'…tch. Bastard._

But being with Antonio (even a sleeping Antonio) was enough comfort to allow the Italian to relax and fall asleep himself, dreaming of pudgy brunettes and leotard-wearing Spaniards.

* * *

**Mwuahahaha. I have updated. Happy? Say yes please. Have more questions arisen? Do state them in the review section. Please tell me what you like about the story and what you think is going to happen. I'll be honest, I do want to make my story somewhat famous...^^; so yes. Reviews would be greatly appreciated, not to mention they'll help me update faster.**

Also...kyouno-aru. You. Youuuuu. YOOOOUUU. That is all I have to say.

And special thanks to Burlesque Romantique for seriously being an awesome follower. I look forward to your reviews the most, I think XD Be proud. Be very proud. 


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